What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
