Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
