I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
