then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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