idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize