can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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