OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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