So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
