i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
