I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
