I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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