you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
