He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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