TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
