just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
