I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize