I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
one two three fourrrrnication!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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