PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
