The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
