let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
