that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
