Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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