listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
