does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
