hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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