I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
