Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
