too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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