see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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