Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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