saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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