Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
