i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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