His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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