my room smells like sperm. sweet.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
