ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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