Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
