we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
