He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
