I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
