we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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