Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
