What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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