New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
