you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize