Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
