I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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