New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
