i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
