Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
