Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
