Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
