People with herpes should wear stickers.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize