My Higher Power is John Stamos
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize