im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You took a bar mat shot.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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