I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
