I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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