they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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