All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
do herpes really smell.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I supernannyed him into submission
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
