Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you inspire me to be a worse person
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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