did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
