Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
