if i can run in heels then i can drive
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Don't tell me you're on acid again
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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